I discovered something new about myself today, I have a fear of commitment. Today I went on a date with this amazing guy. He took me to a French creole restaurant and the food was delicious. We were discussing the topic of careers. I told him how I've never stayed in a job for over a year. Usually, I jump over jobs every 4 to 6 months. I get bored easily, I don't like having a daily routine. He told me it's because I have a fear of commitment and something clicked in my mind. Fear of commitment? It never crossed my mind. After I went home and thought about our conversation. I realize that I did have a fear of commitment. I've never been in a serious relationship and I'm turning 25 years old in 3 months. Whenever I find a guy I'm interested in, I always try to find flaws in them. When the relationship starts getting serious, I start pushing them away. It made me realize that I do have a fear of intimacy. This is how I overcame my biggest struggle.
The first step is to see a therapist. I have a bad habit of hiding my feelings and pretending that everything is perfect. I never let anyone see me upset. I’ve experienced so many traumas and heartbreaks, I became an actress hiding it all with a smile. Going to therapy set me free. I finally had someone to be attentive to me in a nonjudgmental tone. My therapist gave me great advice on overcoming the fear of commitment and how to trust people again.
I've learned to let go and trust the universe. Life is an unexpected journey, you can’t plan the future. I’ve had people I’ve trust hurt and abandoned me. And guess what? I’m still here, happier than ever. Everything happens for a reason, step out of your comfort zone and trust your intuition. Nothing happens overnight, take small steps to your goals, and one day you’ll look back and see a big impact.
No comments